My New Blog.
My new blog is spaghetti-bitch.blogspot.com.
This one bores me.
I cry, and whine way to much.
and I'm glad I found spell check.
EAT ME! at 4:13 AM ;; 14 comments
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Sean.
I told Sean not to get the bathroom all greasy, cause mom would flip out and ha was like...
"I'm not scared of that little fucking troll"
EAT ME! at 4:40 PM ;; 0 comments
I wish I were dead.
End.
EAT ME! at 11:47 AM ;; 1 comments
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Days.
By day I feel like shit, by night I feel worse.
Help.
EAT ME! at 3:38 PM ;; 0 comments
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Default.
No regrets.
None.
EAT ME! at 11:30 AM ;; 0 comments
Monday, April 7, 2008
Fuck Everyone.
FUCK EVERYONE.
FUCK EVERYTHING!!waes;'klf ad;s koff mnjds'
f'ds kfads f,mzdxsad[f'skg vadbfs
EAT ME! at 3:42 PM ;; 0 comments
The Last Day.
It went as normal.
A little school, a lot of home.
We cuddled, watched t.v., talked.
Did all the normal stuff.
Time went by fast, and next thing I knew, it was time to leave.
I cried, he cried too.
I said goodbye, and he said I Love You.
I didn't want to go, it's just so nice in his arms.
We walked down to Ryans, and just looked at eachother.
Some more time slipped by, and it was really time.
We hugged for a few secounds.
Gave a little kiss.
I said see yah later, and gave a little smile.
Started walking down the street, and my thoughts started racing.
I turned around to give one last look, and there he was.
Behind the glass looking back at me.
I kept my pace and threw him a smile and a wave.
I kept walking, and never looked back.
That might be the last day I ever saw him.
Shitty.
EAT ME! at 3:14 PM ;; 1 comments
Saturday, April 5, 2008
=[
I miss him so much.
So much.
EAT ME! at 6:06 PM ;; 1 comments
Thursday, March 27, 2008
I'm about to....
Pack up my computer.
I want comments sometime.
Kthxbye.
See yall soon.
EAT ME! at 7:58 PM ;; 2 comments
Blah.
Packing sucks ass.
EAT ME! at 5:38 PM ;; 0 comments
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Yoooo.
I'm moving this weekend.
To shinglehouse.
kbye.
EAT ME! at 10:31 PM ;; 2 comments
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
AWH!
rainbowpacifist: i know you do, and i know you know i do, but idk. i just don;t really show it that good like idk idk,
christianw1991: i think you do,. you show me everyday.. you listen to me i listen to you,. we always have fun even if were just laying in my bed all day watchin tv...and your always there for me when i want to diss on the government or make one of them gay ass athiest remarks... i knw you love me really..
EAT ME! at 10:22 PM ;; 0 comments
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Uhhhhhhhhggg!
I hurt everywhere.
EAT ME! at 12:09 PM ;; 1 comments
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Um, ok.
Seems like no one has the time to blog anymore.
But that's cool I guess.
Anyways have you ever listened to a depressing song so many times that it starts to make you happy?
You listen to it so much that the melancholy goes away?
It makes me happy.
Makes me a little more human.
EAT ME! at 8:10 PM ;; 0 comments
Friday, March 21, 2008
Hitler.
I don't care how bad this sounds.
I think Hitler was the shit.
I think he was smart, and he never lied.
When he said he was going to do something he fucking did it.
I think we need someone like Hitler.
EAT ME! at 8:47 PM ;; 1 comments
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Wow.
Wow is all I can say.
I am so confused like wow you don't even know.
I love him, and I love him.
I love them.
EAT ME! at 7:10 PM ;; 0 comments
Sunday, March 16, 2008
wellll..
I'm going to be moving very soon.
I will live in Shinglehouse, and if you ever want to hangout let me know.
I should be there before the end of this month.
Maybe a little later, I don't really know.
[I'm starting to get addicted to ICP]
<3
EAT ME! at 6:01 PM ;; 0 comments
Friday, March 14, 2008
Okay, whatever.
No one talks to me.
No one looks at me.
No one cares.
So whatever.
Let the good times rolll..
[[ I Wish ]]
EAT ME! at 3:30 PM ;; 2 comments
Sunday, March 9, 2008
I Love You<3
It's
so
nice
when
he
says
it
first.
EAT ME! at 6:23 PM ;; 0 comments
Saturday, March 8, 2008
I'm Not Ok (I Promise)
I hate this stage.
I want videogames.
And popcorn!
AHahahah!!
EAT ME! at 5:24 PM ;; 0 comments
Werddd.
Is it weird to read something and automatically think it's something bad on your part?
Is it weird to want to be with someone else, even though you know you love your love to death?
Is it weird to want so much less, but so much more?
Is it weird that I am scared of what I could do?...
EAT ME! at 10:52 AM ;; 0 comments
Friday, March 7, 2008
Haha.
Me: i'de wear dirty clothes for the rest of my life if i could be with you everyday. idc.
Him<3: ok, thats pretty nasty and beautiful at the same time
Me: haha ily<3
EAT ME! at 5:16 PM ;; 0 comments
Thursday, March 6, 2008
My Death Wish
On the count of fear of being buried alive, I would like to be buried with a fully charged cellphone that gets service 8ft under.
Thank you.
EAT ME! at 5:09 PM ;; 1 comments
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
haha.
Some dude on yahoo wanted me to show him my boobs.
I was like nope, sick freak.
HAHAHA!
EAT ME! at 7:36 PM ;; 1 comments
Sunday, March 2, 2008
I don't..
I don't think I have felt this shitty in a long time.
I honestly don't think he even cares, but oh well.
I can get through this and so can he.
I will miss him terribly.
I want him near me so fucking much,
but I can't do it.
I have to... I don't even know.
It feels pretty shitty when you have to leave.
Especially when you would do anything to stay.
Ifuckingloveyounomatterwhat
EAT ME! at 6:18 PM ;; 0 comments
Saturday, March 1, 2008
I Post Lyricss<3
Happy March, I'm not preggy, and shit is good but shitty.
I look at all the lonely people.
I look at all the lonely people.
Ella Marigby
Picks up the rice in the church where her wedding has been;
Lives in a dream.
Waits at the window,
Wearing a face that she keeps in a jar by the door.
Who is it for?
All the lonely people, where do they all come from?
All the lonely people, where do they all belong?
Father MacKenzie
Writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear;
No one comes near.
Look at him working,
Nodding his socks in the night when there's nobody there.
What does he care?
All the lonely people, where do they all come from?
All the lonely people, where do they all belong?
I look at all the lonely people.
I look at all the lonely people.
Ella Marigby
Died in the church and was buried alone with her name.
Nobody came.
Father MacKenzie
Wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from her grave.
No one was saved.
All the lonely people, where do they all come from?
All the lonely people, where do they all belong?
P.s. talent has no date, the Beatles are the best band ever.
EAT ME! at 8:44 PM ;; 3 comments
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Nose.
I pierced my nose last night, I think my mom will rip it out.
Kthxbye.
EAT ME! at 3:29 PM ;; 0 comments
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
-sigh-
I don't think I am going to have time to post a blog later, so I'll do it now.
My dripping hair is cold on my back, but it's okay.
It feels peaceful, I dunno why.
But anyways I found out Phil lives right next to me again.
I was kinda scared though cause he was like hitting on me a little.
Oh yeah, and I defiantly need to find out if I'm fucking pregnant.
I want to party, and I don't want to hurt or kill my poor fetus.
So yeah, I might go to the clinic tonight then.
Kthxbye.
EAT ME! at 6:38 AM ;; 0 comments
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Hmm.
I wish I was beautiful.
I wish I was skinny.
I wish my boobs were bigger.
I wish I never have to shave.
I wish my skin was a little paler.
I wish I didn't have so many damn moles.
I wish I wasn't so gross.
I wish my eyes where blue.
I wish my face wasn't so fat.
I wish I had money.
I wish I was an individual.
I wish I could be myself.
I'll go alone, kthxbye.
EAT ME! at 2:28 PM ;; 1 comments
=[
Does anyone even read this anymore?
Anyways, I've been having crazy dreams lately.
Like last night some kid was choking and not breathing so I went to my guidance counselor and was like he needs help.
She was like one minute.
I was like no bitch now he's dying!!
Yeah okay.
I'm hungry, bye.
EAT ME! at 11:24 AM ;; 3 comments
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Pregnant?
I didn't want to say anything just yet, out of fear of my mom finding out, but I might be pregnant.
[Don't flip out, and spam me with comments.]
I made a stupid decision and decided to go to my Guidance counselor for info...
Well she said she was going to call my mom.
I was like aklhfoisduf90sd no.
I was like I am not even sure at all yet, you don't need to be getting her all hyped up.
Well she said she like had to, and I was like whatever.
We went and talked to the nurse, and she was really kind about it.
So we talked, and they said they wouldn't call yet.
Well I went to lunch and talked to Christian.
He told me I shouldn't have talked to her, and I felt all horrible cause I didn't know like if she was going to call or not.
Well we decided to go to his house and relax, so we left.
Later on I got home and checked the caller ID there was a call from my mom, brian, and ryan.
They called before I even got out of school.
So I started tweakin, and Christian calmed me down.
A bit later I checked my home phone messages.
My mom got a message from the vice principal, and once again, I lost it.
I called my love, and was like I bet the fucking counceler made him call my mom over me skippin school, then like had him refer my mom to her.
Well guess what?
I was 100% right.
Well my mom came home and was like so you're pregnant?
I was like I dunno.
She just said that's nice, and started talking to my bro.
She didn't yell, or be mean, or even make fun of me.
I was so surprised.
So pretty much shit's straight.
The only person being an ass about it is Brian.
He's all making fun of me and shit, and it's really annoying.
But anyways, I'm not all sure I am yet.
As soon as I know something, you will.
-sigh-
I'm taking my first test as soon as Christian buys it.
If negative, I will take another one at the beginning of March, unless I start my period of course.
Well that's it, in a nutshell anyways.
<3ilYc
EAT ME! at 8:55 AM ;; 0 comments
Friday, February 22, 2008
10 People
If you ask if you are on this list, I wont tell you.
If you think you are and ask me I wont tell you.
Even if you guess right.
10- I envy you, I want to be just like you. I think I actually might want to be you, but regardless I still effin love you.
9- You're special to me. If it wasn't for you I would seriously be dead. We've had tough times, but so many awesome ones to go with it. Can't wait to see you again.
8- I despise you. Everytime I think about you all I want to do is vomit everywhere. I can feel my hatred for you burning in my gut, and I belive you can feel it to.
7- You're my baby, and I love you. I want to grow old with you, and be with you forever. You mean so much to me that I think I could die. Thank you.
6- You're so smart, I want to be just like you. I wish I could touch the skin of your face, just so I can be completely sure you're real.
5- I miss you sometimes. Sometimes I sit here and think about everything you've done for me. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't know how to love. I know at the time it seemed like you were the worst thing on the planet, but thank you. I only miss you occasionally. Get on yahoo xP.
4- You're so crazy, lol. You are like one of my best buddies in the world. Get out of lockup fool.
3- [Group] You guys are my friends. It fees nice that you accept me this easily. You guys rokk!
2- When I think about you, I smile. You once were the world to me. You always know how to make me smile, and you're just great.
1- I only wish I could hate you. I want to leave you forever, and never look back. My gut keeps me here, and after all these years all I can say is well.. Why me? Sometimes I wish you got that abortion.
EAT ME! at 4:22 PM ;; 0 comments
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Bang x2
Well um, I'm very emotional these last couple of days.
I saw this dude on myspace, and he made me puke.
All because he reminded me of Jack Dougherty.
Yeah, for real shit.
So well I don't know.
I hate school, I don't want to go.
At least I get to see Christian =]
Even though we leaving cause I wanna watch O Brother Where Art Thou.
Hahaha loves it.
EAT ME! at 6:38 AM ;; 0 comments
Monday, February 18, 2008
Well.
Well I don't really know.
The good and bad, just shit is so.. I don't know.
I don't know if my life is good or bad.
I don't know if i'm happy or what.
Is so confusing!
I'm hungry.
EAT ME! at 5:24 PM ;; 0 comments
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Why?
The sun will set for you.
So um wow.
My verdict will be reached Monday, March 3rd,
at precisely 1:06 p.m.
My whole life will come down to that very second.
Why does this have to happen?
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Ily.
EAT ME! at 11:46 AM ;; 0 comments
Thursday, February 14, 2008
The candyman can.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
It's valentines dayyy!!
I love him<3
EAT ME! at 10:34 AM ;; 0 comments
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Forever.
I want him beside me forever.
EAT ME! at 9:23 AM ;; 0 comments
Friday, February 8, 2008
Lalala,
I can feal it moving through my veins.
And I like it.
EAT ME! at 11:53 PM ;; 0 comments
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Great.
Things are so great I could shit.
Going to look at houses with my Mommy.
Lovee<33
EAT ME! at 5:33 PM ;; 2 comments
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
So..
I pretty much love him.
He told me I mean the world to him.
EAT ME! at 5:13 PM ;; 1 comments
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Him<3
I love the way he looks at me.
I love the way he holds me.
I love the way he smiles.
I love the way he sees the world.
I love the way he jokes around.
I love the way he laughs when I tickle him.
I love the way he messes with my head.
I love the way he makes faces when I pop his pimples, or bite him.
I love the way he makes me hide in his closet when his mom comes home on lunch.
I love the way he calls me beautiful.
I love the way he tells me he loves me.
I love the way he says my name.
I love the way he holds his cigarette.
I love the way he twitches sometimes.
I love the way he gets pissed cause I don't tickle anywhere.
I love the way he has a deeper voice when he wakes up.
But what I love the most is that I'm his,
and he's mine..<3
EAT ME! at 4:52 PM ;; 0 comments
Monday, February 4, 2008
Thumb.
I cut my thumb today.
Sparky said it might need stitched up, or he could just fix er up for me.
I had him do it, and it's throbbing.
GROSS!
EAT ME! at 5:50 PM ;; 0 comments
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Yuppers.
I do believe that what I feel for you is a mix of disgust and pity.
I do believe that your smile will never warm me again.
I do believe that you're ugly, on the inside at least.
I do believe that the hate is building.
I do believe that you don't understand, regardless of how much you know.
I do believe that I wont miss laying next to you.
I do believe that the hate is building.
I do believe that your trapped.
EAT ME! at 1:55 PM ;; 0 comments
-Sigh-.
It's fucking beautiful out.
And I can't leave.
I want to scream!
EAT ME! at 1:01 PM ;; 0 comments
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Makeup.
I have recently been having some skin problems.
Nothing too seriouse just some minor acne.
Well the other day I noticed this rash typething forming on my nose.
I thought it was sick so I talked to my mom.
She didn't say anything so I decided to take matters into my own hands.
Well my brother pated me back today so I went to CVS to see if I find a product to make me look less icky.
So I bought this neat little bottle of foundation.
My boyfriend put it on his hand and it looked pretty orange.
I was like what the fuck? 12 dollars spent on a cheap fake tan.
I took it home anyways and applied some evenly to my face like the bottel told me too.
I asked my mom if it looked right and she just didn't talk to me so I was like whatever then.
Well I did everything right and it would have lookd okay if it wasn't so orange.
Now what I am trying to say here is if you read this blog and you are semi girly could you please help me somehow so I don't look like The Thing.
Easy way to spend 20 dollars:
EAT ME! at 5:46 PM ;; 4 comments
Friday, February 1, 2008
Christian.
So there's this guy right? Well I pretty much want to marry him. When I first met him I actually kinda felt bad for him. He didn't talk a lot so I didn't really know if he had any friends [and omg was he cute] so I decided to talk to him. Well I am not the most.. sane seeming.. person in the world, but he talked to me a little, and I liked it. So we kinda just chilled for a couple days, I couldn't really tell if he thought I was nuts and felt bad for ME or if he hated me or whatever. I came to his house a lot, and like fell in love with him. I just wanted to be close to him, I wanted to feel his heartbeat, but I didn't think he could ever be into me. Well I decided to put this to the test.. I was running real late that day and my parents where going to flip out and he was walking me to the school cause he's nice like that. Well I couldn't stop thinking about how much I wanted him to hold me, and how much I wanted him to want me, and how much I needed him, and how.. So I like stopped him and kissed him. To my suprise it wasn't awkward, or wierd, or anything.. It was nice. Well I walked home, and I didn't even care how late I was, or how much trouble I was in. I was so happy I could scream, and I actually did, and soon after that I just fell in love with him, but things always fuck up so of couse we broke up. I started dating other guys, but I always wondered what he was doing, if he missed me, if he wanted me. So I went back to him, I don't even know how we ended up getting back together, but let me tell you what. I will never forget this dude, and I will love him as long as I can. He told me they always come back.. I know, no matter what happens, I hope I will have the chance to.
I love you Christian Micheal Wilson.
<3
EAT ME! at 10:04 AM ;; 2 comments
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Pretty much..
It isn't so funny when your on the receiving end.
EAT ME! at 6:54 AM ;; 2 comments
Monday, January 28, 2008
I knew it.
Well here we go again.
School sucks. Life sucks. Parents suck. God sucks. You suck. I suck. Music sucks. Washington sucks. Eyeliner sucks. People suck. Drugs suck. Animals suck. Nature sucks. This sucks. Rants suck. Blogging sucks. Myspace sucks. Everything sucks.
I think I may be going away for awhile.
EAT ME! at 4:20 PM ;; 1 comments
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Title: None
I had many breakthroughs tonite, and I think I can make it through this one.
It saddens me knowing how shallow I am and how much I want to be this perfect example for everyone.
I realized I am nothing, life is nothing, people are nothing.
Just nothing at all.
The only thing I believe is true is love.
What am I saying love is pretty much a lie too.
-sigh- And this is the world we live in.
EDIT:
rainbowpacifist: haha i guess so.
christian: im pretty tiered i think im going to go to bed
rainbowpacifist: okay.
christian: k, love u
christian: good nite
rainbowpacifist: i love you too <3
rainbowpacifist: goodnight.
christian signed off at 12:13:08 AM.
^ I want to cry, I'm going to miss him. :[
EAT ME! at 11:27 PM ;; 0 comments
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Hate..
Well I pretty much hate them. My parents treat me like I am a fucking infection. Pretty much they wont eat or drink after me. I don't know why they don't cause my mom says i'm gross so yeah.
Also when they start to speak about me they do not use my name, they only say "her" or "she". That's at the start of a conversation.
So it's like if I hadn't talked about you all day, then I saw someone and was like tell her she's ugly. That's pretty much what it's like.
Let's see what else.. Um I pretty much clean my house everyday, and if you are one of my good friends you know that to be a fact. All they want is more more more and like o weekends when I just chill out and relax they freakout and tell me to do shit cause my mom had to do it. OMFG DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE?! My mom and sparky have no fucking lives whatsoever. All they do is go to work, come home, watch tv, eat, and go to bed. EVERY FUCKING DAY! And it's bullshit cause if I don't do one fucking thing I get bitched at.
And the whole hanging out with people situation: I can't hangout with girls becuase my mom is scared I will get in fights, I'm not allowed to hangout with guys with girlfriends cause i might get in fights. I can't really hangout with guys anyways cause my mom thinks i'm a whore and going to get prego. I can't go to people's houses, becuase I'm unsupervised, and I can't go to the mall anymore cause of the fights.
Oh and money. I never ask my parents for money or anything, and when I do the answer is always no. Whenever it's about me and money is involved is fucking WWIII up in here. They hate me I'm telling you.
I don't know how much longer I can deal with this.
I want them to die, and I want myself to die.
I hate them.
I hate them.
EAT ME! at 1:45 PM ;; 1 comments
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Yahh.
I went shopping with my Mom today.
I really think we are starting to get closer than we ever have.
I think this is scaring her a lot more than it is me.
Well anyways, I bought some pants right?
They are like size 0 and I was like w0ah.
I never thought I could wear that size, and they look nice too.
I was like okay sweet, lol.
Also today I have decided to call everyone "love", unless they are my elders.
My elders we'll be called Ma'am, and Sir from now on.
EAT ME! at 11:11 PM ;; 3 comments
Friday, January 11, 2008
Posting>Create>Title
Kim Stolz.
She is pretty much my hero, she was on ANTM, and she's a lesbian.
She was the only sane person in the house, and I think I love her, lol.
You might have seen her in some showssss!
But anyways things have been shitty lately, but I think I don't mind.
I am so crazy, lol.
Have a good day loves.
<3
EAT ME! at 10:44 PM ;; 1 comments
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Not so bad, eh?
These last couple of days haven't been all bad.
I guess you gotta fail to win right?
I would rather not say why I'm so happy, it's classified information.
Edit; I got a txt message today and it said "i love you too, babe".
It meant a lot to me.
<3
EAT ME! at 8:34 PM ;; 2 comments
Sunday, January 6, 2008
I am a robot.
All day today I have been doing things like they are standard, like I'm programmed to do them.
I don't even give things any thought I just do them.
It's kinda like I'm in the passenger seat.
I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, and I don't even know if I like it.
-sigh-
EAT ME! at 7:40 PM ;; 0 comments
Saturday, January 5, 2008
A Friend.
and tonite, i feel a little more completed, something in me was filled, all i needed was a friend.
EAT ME! at 4:53 AM ;; 1 comments
Friday, January 4, 2008
Insanity.
My eyes are highlighted brown, and my face is very pale.
I look sick, very sick.
And it's attacking me.
EAT ME! at 10:25 PM ;; 0 comments
Thursday, January 3, 2008
]]]]:
Edit: I don't know what is wrong with me lately. I can't stop thinking about all the things in the world that depress me. I know, I know I'm just a teenager, but it feels like something more. It feels like this constant sorrow will not go away. I feel very close to a break-down. I don't know what is going to become of me. I have been gaining weight (no I'm not prego, trust me) but what scares me about that is I have been eating a lot less. All I had today was some fries at lunch, and two of those way lo-fat flat cookies that taste like liquorish. The suicidal thoughts are starting to get to me, also. I would never do it, could never do it, I'm to big of a sissy to kill myself. It's still scary though when I'm in the shower and picture myself filling her up, going under, and taking a big deep breath. I don't know what's wrong with me, there is a vital piece of me lost somewhere and I just can't find it. I have no one to turn to, no one that understands... It's just me and lemme tell you, I'm trapped.
EAT ME! at 6:38 PM ;; 2 comments
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Candy anyone?
Sometimes I wish I was a Piñata.
So when I get beat down, at least someone gets some candy out of it.
p.s. Buy me this camera??
EAT ME! at 1:46 AM ;; 0 comments
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Sobriety is overrated.
Well it's a hap hap happyy ner year.
first time i evr gfot drunk with my momther.
i thought thiss was gfin to be gay,
bur it turned out allrighj.
cant weit for this ters ozzfest.
i am defff going.
=]
EAT ME! at 3:05 AM ;; 0 comments
Monday, December 31, 2007
Sing the blues, brother.
If I said I never hear voices, you'de call me sane.
If I said zombies are not real, you'de call me sane.
If I said the world is not going to end soon, you'de call me sane.
Yet when I say I'm crazy you agree.
"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you." ~Rita Mae Brown
EAT ME! at 12:16 AM ;; 0 comments
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Too young.
It sucks that I am too young to get married.
I think if I could marry right now I would be a complete person,
but of course it doesn't work that way.
I will have to wait, and when the time finally comes, I will think it's overrated.
Yet, if I was married right now, when I come that age I will be used to it,
and I would have my love
Maybe they will change he marring age for me.
It will most likely be around the same time that they make abortion illegal,
legalize marijuana, and pig's fly.
But what do I know?
I'm just too damn young.
EAT ME! at 5:42 PM ;; 0 comments
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Wow.
It took me 14 years, 7 months, 5 days, 21 hours, 52 minutes, and 45 seconds to realize how much my Mom loves me.
I love you too Mom..
I love you, too.
EAT ME! at 8:41 PM ;; 0 comments
Broken?
I think that these thoughts that I am thinking are not healthy.
Maybe it's all true,
the things they whisper in your ear.
Stop whispering already.
I have enough problems lately.
EAT ME! at 3:13 AM ;; 1 comments
Friday, December 28, 2007
Lalala.
My best friend almost got arrested tonite.
I was so scared.
He was in handcuffs and everything.
Good reason why you should not smoke weed,
and not trespass.
EAT ME! at 11:43 PM ;; 0 comments
Thursday, December 27, 2007
My Life Story.
A pretty much feel as if all the blogs I have posted lately have been nothingness, pure undefined nothingness. I feel as if the people who do infact read my blog don't know who I am so I have decided to post my life story. If you read it you are pretty much a good friend if not fine, It's not important. Just another blank story posted on an internet page.
Let's start from the beginning:
I was an unwanted child from the time of conception. I was born April 25, 1993 to Paula Jean Thompson and Robert Charlie Fitzsimmons. My mom wanted to abort me, but my family convinced her otherwise. On my birthday there was actually a snowstorm. How cool is that? So anyways at 9:34 there I was, spawned on to this earth. I was a pretty healthy baby despite the fact that all my mom did during my pregnancy was smoke cigarettes, eat salads, and drink Mountain Dew.
I lived with my mom for a week after I got out of the hospital, she ended up calling my Aunt Marline saying if I didn't stop crying she was going to kill me. So of course she took me. My earlies memories where sitting on my uncles lap pulling on his beard and laughing. After my aunt got sick, I lived with my mom again for awile. After a few weeks my mom couldn't handle me anymore so she sent me to my dad's parents. My nana and papa said that when I came to them I was wearing my brothers close, and had a bed skin infection. She had to take me to the hospital and get me helped. I had a fever of 102. I think I was about 1 or 2. My nana and papa took good care of me. There are so many home videos they made of me just being a little hellion. My pap used to always say "i want some belly soup" and would blow on my tummy and I would yell "no papa no!". It was so funny, I would just crack up. Every time he said ism hungry i would run away laughing and screaming. You don't know how much I miss that. My mom wanted to take me away from them. They fought for me as much as they could, but the mom always wins... I don't recall what happened after that, but somehow I ended up with the love of my life, my aunt leisa. I was still young, maybe not even 3. There are so many good memories. I can remember the snuggling and all the love she had for me. It was so great. She ended up taking me to the beach, and i feel somehow and split my head open. I was 4 i think. You could see my skull and everything, it was gross. I can remember her screaming "LIFE GUARD". When I got taken to the hospital she stayed by my side holding my hand the entire time. (I am actually crying at this very moment). We went to the hospital at 4 and didn't get out until midnight. She was by my side the whole time. I love her so much. Well after that my mom took me away again, and sent me to her mom, my grandma. All of us kids lived with her and my grama was going crazy. She lived in a green house in Farmers Vally, and pretty mcuh everyone in our family has lived there. It's pretty neat.
So kindergarten. Two days before it was going to start my mom took me to live with her and her boyfriend. I remember my first day of kindergarten, my mom was taking pictures of me and in everyone I didn't smile. I don't really know why, I just didn't. When I went to go to kindergarten they thought I was 7 and put me in the wrong line. I remember I walked in a line to this classroom that only had four desks. They all laughed at me, and I was just like "I'm lost". Well I finally got in my class, but I was either smart or stupid. I went to an all day class. I always thought it was so cool how some people only went to school in the morning or the afternoon. I remember my mom never gave me money for lunch so I would sit and watch everyone eat. I also recall one day i saw kids leaving so I followed them, and they where getting milk cartons, and I was like "woah, cool" so I got one, and I got yelled at. They wouldn't let me have it because I didn't have any money. I remember at playtime no one wanted to play with me. I would take the block, build a wall and hide behind it. Kids would come over and take them from me. I wouldn't cry, I would just get really mad, but do noting. At nap time i would never sleep. I would just stare at the kids faces. The kids laughed at me because the towel I had to lay on had bleach stains. I was so mad all the time, I had the pretties towel there damnit.
First and second grades where sucky. I couldn't divide and I didn't understand math that well. They thought I was retarded so put me in special classes. Soon they found out I wasn't retarded so I went back to normal classes. I remember the first time I wet my pants. I was wearing winnie the pooh overalls, and a white turtleneck (yes I remember). I didn't mean to though my teacher was a psycho, and wouldn't let me go until she finished her lesson, so when I finally got to go i tried to get the overalls off and they just wouldn't. So i pissed myself. It was pretty sucky. I didn't make any friends until like 2nd grade. One of my friends had a pencil box with a bunch of ladybugs in it. One would die like everyday and she would cry. My first boyfriend's name was Jake. I was like so in love with him, he was awesome. He rode my bus, bus 2, and he was just a sweetie. I was obsessed with chapstick when I was in second grade. I would trade with people for like no reason. I was weird.
Between 2nd and 4th grade. {The order of these events is all messed up, so just go with it) I was pretty much a wierdo. My mom thought I was crazy because I would draw houses, just houses, and hang them up all over my wall. My best friend during this time was liz parris, my aunt leisa's kid. She was awesome. We would chill at her house and listen to Brittney Spears. Lol. I took a hit of my first cigarette when I was 7. I was with my brother, and his friend. My fist bi expirence was in 4th grade I think. I had a girl stay over at my house, and I would rather not go on... I don't really remember when this happened, but I ended up living in eldred with my mom and her now boyfriend. I was so pissed, because my mom's first boyfriend Jesse Himes was pretty much the shit. I loved him so much. He had a dog named Brutis and he was like my best buddy, but he absolutely hated the neighbor kid Jacey. Oh yes Jasey. he gave my my first hickey, I was only like 7. I got in soooo much trouble, and so did he.. Woah.. That's the only reason I fucking hate hickeys. But anyways back to Jesse. I loved him so much and the only time I ever saw that man cry was when we left. It was horrible. That was the summer I broke both my arms at the same time. It was so nuts. Like there was this rope tied to a tree in this kinda vally type things. You climbed this hill grabbed the rope, and went down. It was really fun. Well me i went out and somehow lost grip and fell. I could here the crack of my bones snapping, and passed out. I woke up and started crying. I got took to the hospital, and got everything taking care of. I had a cast on both arms..lol.. But I could have died. Like on the flat part that you swing above there was trees that had been cut down, like little trees. So if I would have landed on one of them, I would have got impaled and died. How sick is that?
Some point in time I lived with my Grandma again. It was pretty wierd I was spoiled, and I was a little bitch. I had a journal that I wrote it (which I still have) and like I dunno. I was just wierd. I can't remember why I had to live there. Something bad happened, but I can't remember what. Must not have been that bad after all.
After we moved away from Eldred we moved to Port I think. I remeber that my best friend there was Casey Connelly. I was in love with a kid named Travis Green, I seriously wanted to marry him. When we lived there we where pretty much really poor, and I kinda smelled a little funny. I was a dirty blonde back then, I can rember. Well anyways we lived there for a little while, and ended up moving to Coudersport. my best friend when we lived there was Maggie Acker. We were thick as theives. I really like it back then. I remember there was this little latino bay that i liked. I can't even remember his name now. Well I lived there for awhile, and It was okay. My mom was pretty much being a cunt bad so I wanted to go live with my dad. I didn't live their long, maybe two weeks then I wanted to come home. I came home to my mom working day and night, my brother and his girlfriend fucking off. and doing stupid shit. It was gay, because the house was a wreck and I didn't feel like cleaning it everyday. I felt like shit everyday. Somedays I didn't even wake up, I just said fuck it. the first person I ever smoke pot with was Ginny. Don't feel like explaing that one. When I was in sixth grade I had a teacher named Ms. McClintic. She was crazy, and treated me like a charity case. I didn't really have any friends so I was like okay. Like I didn't even go to Recess that's how much no one cared about me.I was obsessed with Circe Roosenberry. I wanted to be her best friend, it was weird. My bestfriend (and only friend) was Rhonda. We had so many good times. She was just great, for a 5th grader. I also remember Chuck Mitchell was my boyfriend for awile. He gaged my ear and I was like woah awesome! I also played basketball for a bit, but no one liked me so it was kinda gay.
Lol, funny story. Back when my uncle was still alive we went on a trip to Black Mashinon. I was riding my bike, and my brakes wouldn't work. So I was flying down this hill, with no brakes. I hit a tree and fell down the hill. It was so funny!! I didn't get hurt, but my uncle almost flipped his lid!!
Well anywhoo my mom ended up moving to Austin or something like that. We moved so much I don't even fucking remember where I was half the time. I just remeber my best friend was Gerry Earle for awhile. We would hang out and I would camp out in this dude's back yard. Well one day she was like were going to get drunk and I was like okay. So yeah I did and got fucking assaulted. I don't really want to go into detail. I went into a stage of depression, I didn't talk to anyone, or even look at anyone. Well it ended up that my mom sent me to my Aunt's to live. My favorite cat, and only love died there. I was so torn up, because my uncle died like a month before that. It was pretty sad. I was so torn up. I stated putting my depression to work by spending at least 6 hours a day on the computer. I can type like 80WPM.. lol.. So anyways councelers where always around like being gay. I was like stay away from me, but thery wanted in my head so I let them in. It wasn't cool. Lol. So yeah I ended up getting a call from my mom begging me to come home so I did. The first guy I really think I was truely in love with was Ryan Allen Peneguy. He was my everything, and someday I am going to marry him. I think he is my soul mate. I still love him so much. Well anyways everything was okay for awhile. Tamara (my niece) lived with us for awhile while my brother was in jail. Everything was okay for awhile. I had a couple good friend, no problems. Well one day Matt tried to kill my mom so I had to call the cops. I was really scared, but we got through it. (I also lost my virginity to someone in that town)
While I lived in austin, my aunt leisa, brother ryan, and cousin liz where in a pretty bad car crash. My aunt was coming to pick me up to take me on a road trip. The said they were on there way yah know so I waited. It should have taken them like an hour at the most to get here, but after for hours, no show. So I got worried, then we got a phone call, and my mom starting crying. I was like what happened, and she was like they got in a car crash. I was like everything okay? She just started crying more. I was like "WHAT HAPPENED MOM!", she was like Leisa's is not okay. I started trippin, freaking out. Well come to find out she died 4 times on the way to the hospital, but they brought her back. She was in really bad shape for awhile. Look I love this woman so much that when she got out of the hospital, I shower her, WIPED HER ASS!@!, and took care of her. I love her so fucking much, you can't even understand.
So we moved to Coudersport again :). 7th grade lol. Seventh grade was neat. I had quite a few friends. I remember when I moved back I went and saw Rhonda, but she was like best friends with Kendra so she didn't want me. It was okay though. So I lived with my mom, cody, and my brother. I pretty much was dirt poor, but it was okay. I enjoyed it a lot and had a lot of fun. OH MY! One day my mom caught me in a bed with Jarret Wadsworth! Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!@!@! So anyways I started dating Chuck Mitchell again like 2 weeks before I was going to move to Roulette, It was a very quick relationship. Then I met Jimmy Hosley. I moved to Roulette, and instantly started hanging out with Tequila. She was my best friend. Wow, the goo times "Dude your moms home", and me crying uncontrollably. So anyways I was hanging out with her a lot. It was neat. Rytz was at my house all the time, he was my bud lol. Well anyways I met Erica and Shannon on the forth of July. They where just chillin and I was like gimmie a cigarette, that's how I met my bestie. Lol. Well anyways I kept asking them if they knew Jimmy Hosley, and they were like yeah. So we started haning out with him and I fell in love with him. One day I come home a little tipsy and I called him and was like I want to see you, and he was like yeah and I was like YEAH! So I went and stole this kids bike and rode 9 miles to see his stupid ass. It was crazzzzy!! We dated and I absolutely loved him. So anywhoo my mom found out and I got in a lot of trouble.
She sent me to live with my aunt, and started dating Brian. So when I finally came home we lived with him. It was okay I guess. Well I started going way downhill. I didn't care about anything. I didn't even want to know myself. Jimmy broke up with me, my best friends were gone.. I was just a wreck. I made it through and started dating Jack which is probably the biggest mistake i've ever made. I ended up getting sent away to live with my nana and that was just crazy. I was in 8th grade. I started chain smoking and felt sick a lot. It wasn't cool. Well my fathers side abandoned me after that. I was like whatever fuck them anyways. It's cool.
So I moved back to coudy again. I lived there for most of the summer. Nothing happened that summer, nothing at all. I stayed at home and watched t.v.
Then guess what? I moved to washington. I met a few people. First person I met was Betty. I really wish I didn't. Well I hungout with her for a bit then I met Christian, and dated him for like a month. He was pretty much the greatest guy, and of corse i ruined that one. I think i still want him, but anyways.. It was just me, him, and ryan fonner. We were besties. When we met ryan it was so funny, I thought he was like 11 lol. So I started going to school, then I met Maggie. She was okay, just a little crazy. Well she ended up fucking me over so I don't even want to talk about her. Well so pretty much I dated a few people, became a pothead, and stayed clean. That's pretty much it I guess...
Deaths:
I can remember when my aunt bonnie died. I always remember trying to go over to her house and see her, and they just wouldn't let me in... I don't really to this day know if that was a good idea or not.
I can also remember when my uncle george died. I was at my dad's house, and he comes up stairs and he was like "you know god works in mysterious ways." I was like yeah okay sure, what's this all about? And he told me my uncle george had passed. I instantly burst into tears. The last time I saw him was when he dropped me off at my house, I got out hugged my aunt leisa, and thought how much i didn't hug him. So I went to the drivers side, gave him a big hug, and said "see you next weekend". That was the last time I ever saw him.
When my grampa died was just crazy. The story actually is in the archives of this blog. I found out he had a heart attack, and if it wasn't for coudersport hospital, he would still be alive. I hate that fucking place. Well anyways I went down to see him in the hospital, and I saw him laying there unresponsive. I was shocked, and confused. I couldn't cry, I just couldn't. I was in the room when my family decided not to resesitate. Imagine how hard it is to see your grampa like that, and hear you family say "when the time comes, don't bring him back".
My aunt leisa's mom rita, she was the shit is all I can say. We wern't really close, but it still hit me kinda hard.
EAT ME! at 12:01 AM ;; 4 comments
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Depression.
I am still feeling a little depressed, but I am slowly getting over it.
I just need nicotine..
EAT ME! at 10:50 PM ;; 0 comments
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Should I cry?
Right now I feel like crying.
All this loneliness I have been feeling,
I finally found out what's wrong with me.
I never had any friends really.
Well yeah of course I had friends,
but none that have never fading memories.
No one I've done super awesome shit with,
just chilled, and had inside jokes and what not.
No one like them.
No one like them.
NO ONE LIKE THEM@!@@@@@@#
EAT ME! at 11:54 PM ;; 1 comments
Woo hoo?
Well it's a holiday.
Like 1,000,000 people told me merry christmas.
I didn't say it back, because I am infact not merry.
I got Warcraft though so pretty much that's what I'm going to do forever now.
Also, I beat my first video game this weekend.
I beat Resident Evil 4, it was schweet.
I'm going to post lyrics now, get away.
System Of A Down - Hypnotize
Why don't you ask the kids at Tiananmen square?
Was Fashion the reason why they were there?
They disguise it, Hypnotize it
Television made you buy it
I'm just sitting in my car and waiting for my...
She's scared that I will take her away from there
Dreams that her country left with no one there
Mezmerize the simple minded
Propaganda leaves us blinded
I'm just sitting in my car and waiting for my girl
I'm just sitting in my car and waiting for my girl
I'm just sitting in my car and waiting for my girl
I'm just sitting in my car and waiting for my
Girl
EAT ME! at 3:59 PM ;; 0 comments
Friday, December 21, 2007
Derek City
I'm going to Derek City for the weekend.
Call or txt the cell.
I'm not going to post it for safety reasons,
but it's hidden in my myspace.
It's easy to find if you care enough to look.
<3
EAT ME! at 5:04 PM ;; 1 comments
Thursday, December 20, 2007
What's the problem here?
There is something wrong with me.
Something I can't explain.
It goes something like this:
I feel alone, but I'm annoyed when I am not alone.
I feel unwanted, but I get 13894 calls a day to chill.
I feel unloved, but I have a boyfriend.
I feel not needed, but I have people asking for help.
I feel neglected, but I'm in my prime.
I feel lost, but I always know where I am.
I feel depressed, but I can't stop smiling.
At this point I would like to say I'm not okay.
These feelings wont go away.
I need help, but I can't make myself want it.
I don't know what to do.
Worst of all, I can't even cry.
I need therapy.
EAT ME! at 5:55 PM ;; 2 comments
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
To be, or not to be.
I pretty much hate men.
It seems like intimacy is what their entire lives revolve around.
Not that it's such a horrible thing..
It's just not something I want to talk about all the time,
think about all the time, or do all the time.
I don't care if you want it or not, and I don't even care how bad.
Maybe I just want to hold you.
Maybe I just want to put my head on your shoulder.
Maybe I just want to feel your heart beat.
Maybe sex just isn't the answer.
EAT ME! at 10:12 PM ;; 0 comments
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
blah ble blo blah!
As of always, I gotta be sick.
Runny nose, coughing, aches and pains.
This fucking sucks.
Shoot me?
EAT ME! at 9:02 PM ;; 1 comments
Monday, December 17, 2007
Last Christmas
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man undercover but you tore me apart
Now I‘ve found the real love, now I found
You’ll never fool me again!
Could he be the one?
It's quite a possibility.
Or maybe I've gone mad.
I want this quite terribly,
I call this a tragedy.
EAT ME! at 1:55 PM ;; 0 comments
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Woahh
I can't believe I did it yet again.
It's just so damn awesome.
I feel sick to my stomache,
my head, my eyes, and my veins.
But tomorrow, i'll prolly do it yet again.
On other notes, I'm glad he called<3
EAT ME! at 8:41 PM ;; 0 comments
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Pretty?
Isn't my layout pretty.
Good night everyone. (:
EAT ME! at 9:09 PM ;; 2 comments
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Mmmmhmmm
That's right baby!
EAT ME! at 7:51 PM ;; 0 comments
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Wowzerssss
All I really know to say lately is "wowzers".
Pretty much things have been so awesome I could puke.
I am so like happy to be alive I think I could scream.
The reason why you ask?
It's a secret, you will fail to know.
I'm not allowing comments on this blog.
Figure it out on your own.
EAT ME! at 9:52 PM ;;
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Let me stand next to your fire..
I think this weekend was pretty dull.
Monday will be better<3
Don't ask..
You just wouldn't understand (:
P.S: I am going to be a rapper. :D
EAT ME! at 12:34 PM ;; 1 comments
Saturday, December 8, 2007
My Jenna,
This is just a simple (really shitty) poem I wrote for Ms. Jenna June.
Let's fly to the moon.
We'll take a drink of the stars
Then hover towards mars.
Let's go astray
And fly past the milky way.
Let our love take course
Please don't remorse.
I'll have you back by day
Then i'll be on my way.
Till' I see you again
My Jenna, my love, my friend.<3
EAT ME! at 6:54 PM ;; 1 comments
Friday, December 7, 2007
Hypocrite? Maybe.
As I was walking home from Ryan's today, I saw some little kids. They where carelessly playing in the snow. I could feel my heart breaking. It seems as if all the simple pleasures of being a child were washed away so long ago. I choked back tears, and took a long hit on my cigarette trying to shake it off, but the feeling still lingered. I couldn't understand how that could depress me so deeply. That's when it hit me. Indeed, I had a pretty desent childhood at times, the sad thing is I can remember the last time I played in the snow. I was 10 years young. Why is this sad you ask? I should have made it last longer. I should have been carelessly playing instead of scrounging for change to have matching socks. I so wish I could have had a nice childhood, but I didn't. I miss being young, I miss it so much I could scream. The look on there little red faces, so meaningful, so careless so... Free. Not brought down by drugs, peer pressure, egos, lost love, and emptyness. I am so envious of what they have. What saddens me the most is, what are they going to turn out like? We all can have a pretty good idea. Look around you. What do you see? Do you see love, worship, self esteem? I don't. I don't at all. The phraise "your born, you live, and you die" is bullshit. There is so much beauty in life. There is so much I wish I could grasp the understanding of, but no. I am sitting here pissin and moaning about what could have been, what is, and what will come. Does it matter to you? Do you feel lost and alone, beat down, and afraid? Do you even care? The mind is such a wonderful, and beautiful thing. So what do we do? We waste it. We waste so much time feeding out ego, and worrying about what someone said about me, or if my hair is to frizzy. Such trivial things that shouldn't matter, but do. To be quite frank, it infuriates me. And I a perfect little speciman? No. I am a hypocrite, and I am a liar, and I am not a pure soul. I am not afraid to say that, because eveyone knows it's true. The most important person you can lie to is yourself. I'm not perfect, in anyway, nor do I want to be. It just pisses me off how everyone is always so petty. I mean damn, why don't you be brave? Why don't you stand up? Look at yourself. Is this you? Or is it who you wish you wouldn't be? Do you really thing that that what your wearing, or your money will matter when you are old, crippled and dying? Nope, it wont. What will matter is the way you lived. When you get older, and have kids, do you want them to be like you? I sure as hell don't and I will not let that happen. What I am trying to say here is life is to precious to be sitting around, wasting away. I'm not telling you to "dance like no one is watching" or anything oddly homosexual like that. I am saying, please, do something. Do something for yourself, be something, be SOMEONE! I don't think you really want to look back and remeber how egotistical, and retarded you once were. This blog is not me preaching to you, nor is it telling you how to live your life. It's just a message of courage from me to you, or maybe it's just food for thought. Take it how you want.
EAT ME! at 4:53 PM ;; 2 comments
Thursday, December 6, 2007
My 100 Post<3
Yayers this is my 100th post. How awesome? Anyways I made a new myspace today: click. So yeah, today was an okay day I guess. I really wanted to see my Rossie poo, but yet again, could not. It was pretty dumb. My blog should be called "endless thoughts of a teenage girl", that's all it really seems to be anyways. I feel like I have lost my tick. I feel like some piece of me is missing, and I can't retrace my footsteps. It's really confusing, and petty, but yet I am still lost. I feel so void, so lost, I dunno what to do. I will make it out alive, I always do, but the trip will be a long one mate.
G'night.
EAT ME! at 10:14 PM ;; 0 comments
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Hello Thar!
I know this dude his name is Ross and he is like my best friends/hero. If your reading this Ross you should deff. comment this blog. So anyways I have been talking to quite a few (3) old friends lately. It is really awesome to catch up, and I miss all you guys. Well my life story is on the side pretty much. I will add more soon. Anywhoo back to blogging. Well today I met this kid who had never met his parents. I hugged him out of sympathy, and began to think of how much it would suck to not have my parents. I mean like I know i say I dislike them or whatever, but I am a teenager, that's how it goes, but I dunno if I could live my life knowing that my own parents didn't want me. It's very sad. Poor Peter. I shall txt him now :3
Comments anyone?
(:
EAT ME! at 9:31 PM ;; 3 comments
Txting... Yummy!
I ♥ 2 txt (:
End of story.
EAT ME! at 6:03 PM ;;
2 comments
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
hiya <3
Hello loves.
Long time?
Yeahhh.
Well i will start posting again.
Yeah.
Bye, (: ....
EAT ME! at 9:55 PM ;;
0 comments
Friday, October 5, 2007
Looking in
I feel like I am on the outside of my life looking in.
I don't like what I see.
Help Me.
EAT ME! at 2:31 PM ;;
1 comments
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Damn.
This commercial on t.v. just said "Laughter adds 8 years on your life" and I was like damn i'm going to live forever.
EAT ME! at 9:01 PM ;;
1 comments
I raped your mom..
Been awile let's just say things are good.
Washington isn't as bad as I thought it would be.
I've met some pretty cool people...
REALLLLLLLLLLLLLY cool people....
Like Chuck he is a big fat man.
ehehhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe.
ps. cheer up hosley :/
EAT ME! at 2:16 AM ;;
2 comments
Friday, August 24, 2007
Oh what a web we weave, when we deal in deciet.
I am in a state of depression.
The kind when you look happy,
but inside you're just breaking down.
I need help.
EAT ME! at 7:52 PM ;;
9 comments
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Hiatus No More...
Wow.. That's fucked up.
Hiatus if off.
Yeh took awile huh?
Well I reolise people don't need me, I need them.
I reolised that helping people is like my therapy.
And for all you people.
I hope you reolise I really can't use I.P logs.
I was just waiting for blogger to like flip out or w/e about it.
The only way I could get your I.P. adress was if I was in the blogger domain.
Which I can't do because I don't own google.
So yeahhh.
All I am saying is that please don't post as anonymous.
If you do I will end up making comments for blogger users only, and I don't wanna do that.
On other notes shit is just coming untangled.
I had a dream about someone last night.
And I was happy, spite it all.
Then at the end it relapsed.
And I woke up angry as ever.
The only zen I have felt sience... Well yeah.
And no, the dream wasn't about Jimmy, twas Jack....
And no, my feelings haven't changed.
I just felt, well, happy.
EAT ME! at 3:21 PM ;;
3 comments
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Help Hiatus♥
Why am I always the one.
I just sit there and take it all.
The stress, drama, lies, and bullshit.
Then when I say something out of free will.
Then it's a big deal.
Out of everything...
It's always "Danni this" and "Danni that" and "Danni I need help".
But when it's "HELP ME" then it's a differant story.
When I am the one breaking down...
Who is there for ME?
No one.
When it's my problems, and when I need help the most.
Guess what?
I'm alone.
I'm sick of it.
I am on a help hiatus.
So gotta problem?
Go somewhere else for awile.
Ps: This blog has nothing to do with Jenna June I would drop anything for her and help her through anything no matter what.
EAT ME! at 9:48 PM ;;
3 comments
Love?
I think I am in love with Jacob Gill.
Actually, I don't think..
I know =)
<3
EAT ME! at 7:18 PM ;;
1 comments
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Like O MY GOSH!
I'm back everyone.
I mean I still live in Washington, but i'm back online.
I am quite content with my situation right now.
And I am going to get an IP log so like if you want to post as anonymous...
I will know who you are HAHAHAHHA!
Have a nice day.
<3
EAT ME! at 5:33 PM ;;
3 comments
Saturday, July 28, 2007
I'm Crying.
I'm sad, lost, and just plain tangled.
I'm scared, and helpless.
I can't think.
I'm just so blah...
EAT ME! at 12:14 AM ;;
7 comments
Friday, July 27, 2007
KAY LOOK FOOLS!
On the side it said "I love Drew".. I was talking about DREW BARRYMORE.. So why don't you keep your mouthes shut and stop drama with me.. I have had like 3 people ask me who this Drew was 'cause people think I am dating a guy named Drew.. Well guess what? IM NOT!!! So why say shit when you don't even know.. Gosh.. I HATE that.. So if you can't respect me enough to ask me personally or even to post your name on comments then stay away from me AND my blog.
Kthxbye.
EAT ME! at 9:32 PM ;; 3 comments
Warcraft<3
I have been playing Warcraft for about 8 straight hours now... I am not very tired.. Well anyways nothing to big has been happening lately.. Wow.. I'm so dull.. Hehehehehhe.. Comments would be nice :D
EAT ME! at 5:41 AM ;; 3 comments
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
heh.
I am in a more content and less bitchy mood today. Seeing that pepole actually cares just makes me feel good..
[If it wasn't for dreams<3]
EAT ME! at 10:12 PM ;; 0 comments
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
-Sigh-...
How can I explain it? It would be nice to know.. I am stressed out FREAKING OUT.. I dunno what I am going to do lately. Jack if your reading this it's NOT about you so if you throw a fucking fit about it I'm going to have to hit you.. Oh and also you need to check the dates on my blogs before you asume things you pessimistic asshole. I would really like someone to talk/vent to... silly.llama_x@yahoo.com.. Bye.
EAT ME! at 11:56 PM ;; 5 comments
Friday, July 6, 2007
WHEN?!?!
When will all you assholes reolise that I am not god and sometimes I question myself. Staying with him will hurt as both, and being away from him will hurt him. So either way I am fucked over and I don't know what to do. There I said it are you happy?!?! I don't know what to do about it anymore.. I can't be friends with him cause all he wants to talk about is us and I want to move on. I'm sick of it okay. You make me so lost and confused. Blah..
You got me short for words.
You got me so stressed.
So tell me, are you happy now?
EAT ME! at 6:56 PM ;; 3 comments
Monday, July 2, 2007
I'm By Your Side<3
It's so wierd how things can just reach out and grab your heart. The wierder thing is that when you feel like warm feeling, it doesn't matter how gay it can be at that very point in time, you find... confort. To me that's worth living for. It's the most amazing feeling in the world. I wish I could pin it to my heart and stay like that forever, but then I reolise that things change and so do people... The things that used to make you laugh really do make you cry. -sigh- I suppose you gotta take a little hell to get to heaven.. It's worth it to me... Wow, baby I love you.. I would wrap the world in a ribbon and hand it to you to make you really see what you do to me... I love you Jack.
EAT ME! at 5:29 AM ;; 9 comments
Saturday, June 30, 2007
<33
All I can hear is the sound of always.
EAT ME! at 12:57 AM ;; 2 comments
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
I LOVE WoW!!
F-IT!
"Calling You"
There's something I can't quite explain
I'm so in love with you
You'll never take that away
And if I've said it a hundred times before
Expect a thousand more
You'll never take that away
So expect me to be
Calling you to see
If you're okay when I'm not around
Asking "if you love me"
I love the way you make it sound
Calling you to see
Do I try too hard to make you smile?
To make us smile
[Chorus]
I will keep calling you to see
If you're sleeping, are you dreaming
If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me
I thought that the world had lost it's sway
It's so hard sometimes
Then I fell in love with you
Then came you
And you took that away
It's not so difficult
The world is not so difficult
You take away the old
Show me the new
And I feel like I can fly when I stand next to you
So while I'm on this phone
A hundred miles from home
I'll take the words you gave me and send them back to you
I only want to see
If you're okay when I'm not around
Asking "if you love me"
I love the way you make it sound
Calling you to see
Do I try too hard to make you smile?
To make us smile
[Chorus]
EAT ME! at 9:14 PM ;; 0 comments
<33
I feel so much better and I cannot explain why, but thankyou.
EAT ME! at 12:35 AM ;; 0 comments
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Don't let the sun set on tomorrow,
before the sun rises today<3
If I am,
a waste of everything you ever dreamed of,
then I will let you down
and, If I am
only here to watch you as you suffer,
then I will let you down.
EAT ME! at 11:29 PM ;; 1 comments
Monday, June 25, 2007
Ellllo.
Hi ok bye.
EAT ME! at 1:25 PM ;; 0 comments
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Long Time...
I hate to say this, but it still hurts. Every single time I hear any spoken words about a certain subject, it drills this hole in my heart that is so damn hard to fill. Everytime I get close I then relapse to a time when I felt like I meant something and I loved the way I felt every minute of it. Now I just feel as if I am trapped in a net of my own tangled emotions, but if there was really a place for me I would be there by now. By society I am just a nothing, a loser and a pathetic excuse for a human being. Now I truely understand the meaning of not being wanted, but I am okay with it at this point I feel as if I have always lived with this feeling and it compelles me to write poetry and I don't know why... Maybe it's my brain telling me I need help, or maybe I just need to wipe away this constant sorrow that lingers over me. I think I am done expressing emotion at all. Then maybe I can see what's really wrong with me. The freaky thing about all of this though. Is I still feel the love that had been gone for such a long time.
Please...
What's wrong with me?
EAT ME! at 8:05 PM ;; 1 comments
Monday, April 9, 2007
Dear Jimmy Hosley,
I really wish I could begin to understand. I can't see why what people really think about you matters... It's just not the Jimmy I remember.. I wish you could understand that there might be people that want to bring you down, but there are also people who wish to help you up. It seems as much as I or anyone tries to help you it doesn't matter to you at all. I want you to understand i hate seeing you this way, and I hate thinking that you're thinking about yourself this way. I only wish that you would really listen to me, but I know what you're thinking.. I don't understand at all right? Well I do... Okay I do. As much ad you probably don't want to except this I want to help you, but I know I can't. I'm trying and if that is not enough for you to see, then fuck it.. I wish the best for you.
Your friend,
Danni-Llama
EAT ME! at 11:28 AM ;; 3 comments
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Jack is a douche.
Hrm... I'm bored.. I love you people...
kay bye...
EAT ME! at 2:40 PM ;; 2 comments
Saturday, April 7, 2007
My IQ is 112?
EAT ME! at 9:48 PM ;; 0 comments
Friday, April 6, 2007
Wow!
It's been a loooooong time holy shit.
So all I can say is that things are crazy, but goood...
I'm being held together at the seams.
EAT ME! at 8:42 PM ;; 2 comments
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Been Awile.
Yup.. Been good too.. I love life.. I love air.. I love the grass and the trees.. And most of all I love him..
but here's the secret:
He loves me tooooooooo [:
I deleted the emails.. pooof.. I'm proud of myself..
EAT ME! at 10:02 PM ;; 3 comments
Saturday, March 3, 2007
Wow..
I totally just reolized how much I truely and deeply love Jack and I need him right now... I love him.. So much.
EAT ME! at 11:30 PM ;; 1 comments
Rant Ignore
Do you ever feel like you're just a kid, just a speck in society. Well I do and if you do I know how it feels... I guess my 'rents think I need counciling... I'm a teenager not a drone sycopath and they think just becuase i'm not like everyone elce that I am jsut some freak.. Well maybe I am crazy.. Or maybe i'm just having a bad few monthes... Who knows.. If I needed help I would ask for it.. Fuck I sound like some damn record player.. I don't know what i'm going to do with myself... Maybe I should stop spinning in circles and start thinkning about now and not the future.. I guess you can read me like an open book... Maybe I should just hide from it all, or maybe I should stand up and say "Fuck you world. I'm Danni Kristin fucking Fitzsimmons... Whatcha gonna do about it."
EAT ME! at 4:12 PM ;; 2 comments
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
[I miss him quite terribly]
"I'm Lost Without You"
I swear that I can go on forever again
Please let me know that my one bad day will end
I will go down as your lover, your friend
Give me your lips and with one kiss we begin
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
I'll leave my room open till sunrise for you
I'll keep my eyes patiently focused on you
Where are you now I can hear footsteps I'm dreaming
And if you will, keep me from waking to believe this
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
I'm lost without you
I'm lost without you
I swear that I can go on forever again
Please let me know that my one bad day will end
I will go down as your lover, your friend
Give me your lips and with one kiss we begin
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
I'll leave my room open till sunrise for you
I'll keep my eyes patiently focused on you
Where are you now I can hear footsteps I'm dreaming
And if you will, keep me from waking to believe this
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
I'm lost without you
I'm lost without you
EAT ME! at 10:48 AM ;; 0 comments
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
-Sigh-
I miss Jack :[... pooooooooo...
EAT ME! at 9:34 AM ;; 0 comments
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Feh~
I don't think I am going to go to skoo tomorrow... I want to, but I guess i'm not. Arrg... I just wanna go to fucking bed I need a shower... Well imma go watch scrubs... ily jack ^_^
EAT ME! at 7:29 PM ;; 2 comments
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Floating is fun...
Ahh yes floating is fun, but I really need to get my feet on the ground... I think I know what my parents are trying to tell me... they want me to be smart and get good grades... I think I can do that... For them and me... I'm off...<3
EAT ME! at 9:29 AM ;; 2 comments
Thursday, February 8, 2007
OMFG!
I am in a really bad mood all of the sudden... :[
"DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE"
"Crooked Teeth"
It was one hundred degrees, as we sat beneath a willow tree,
Who's tears didn't care, they just hung in the air, and refused to fall, to fall.
And I knew I'd made horrible call,
And now the state line felt like the Berlin wall,
And there was no doubt about which side I was on.
Cause I built you a home in my heart,
With rotten wood, it decayed from the start.
Cause you can't find nothing at all,
If there was nothing there all along.
No you can't find nothing at all,
If there was nothing there all along.
I braved treacherous streets,
And kids strung out on homemade speed.
And we shared a bed in which I could not sleep,
At all, woo, hoo, woo, hooOoOo.
Cause at night the sun in retreat,
Made the skyline look like crooked teeth,
In the mouth of a man who was devouring, us both.
You're so cute when you're slurring your speech,
But they're closing the bar and they want us to leave.
And you can't find nothing at all,
If there was nothing there all along.
No you can't find nothing at all,
If there was nothing there all along.
I'm a war, of head versus heart,
And it's always this way.
My head is weak, my heart always speaks,
Before I know what it will say.
And you can't find nothing at all,
If there was nothing there all along.
No you can't find nothing at all,
If there was nothing there all along...
EAT ME! at 3:02 PM ;; 0 comments
Gaaahh//
I hate being sick... Grrr... Well anyhoo i should say something interesting today.. Let's seee... i miss who i used to be........
EAT ME! at 8:28 AM ;; 3 comments
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Oww...
My tummy hurts really bad... i think im going to the hospital today.. i hate this... -sigh-... i love you
EAT ME! at 3:45 PM ;; 5 comments
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
yeh, ok.
isn't it weird how you can sit in your room, lock all the windows and doors, but you still feel like the world is seeping through?
yeh, random... anyhoo i was going to post something remotely interesting that i got in the mail today, but half of you will think i want you to feel bad for me, a quarter of you will feel bad for me and piss me off, and the other quarter just wont care... so i think i will just keep it to myself... arrg... kbye.
EAT ME! at 8:41 PM ;; 2 comments
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Maybe...
I feel awful insucre lately... It's just a sort of curse that lingers in my life.. pretty much it goes like this... My life is like as good as it can get then I get uber worried thinking I am going to somehow mess it up in a scary way so I start holding myself back and think i am the worst thing in the world... feh~ how gay does that sound... heh.. well i am going to go do "french stuff" and go to youth later... gahh i need a cigatette... xD... peace ;;
EAT ME! at 2:07 PM ;; 3 comments
Sunday, January 28, 2007
rar.
I am quite worried at this point... I don't know what's wrong with him and I only wish we could talk... well I guess I will go to youth tonite...
ARRG! today i reolised how much i miss partying... and how dramatic the world is...
other than that i had fun this weekend... i cried when i watched i am sam and everyone laughed at me lol... i love you jackass.
<3
Ps; don't break his heart... (you so don't know who i am talking aboot so shut up.)
EAT ME! at 5:19 PM ;; 1 comments
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
<33
wow... long time no post... let's seeeee.....
1. I know how imperfect i am
2. I love Jack
3. Im loosing friends
4. I love jack
5. i hate life, and mr. klepfer
7. I MISS ERICA
8. Did i mention i love jack?
So anywhooo things are going quite well lately and i am having odd dreams... wow... you can't imagine... Summer Skin has made me totally almost over jimmy... life is good x3.
EAT ME! at 9:02 AM ;; 3 comments
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
going, going.... gone :D
Things are going well lately.. I have a wicked awsome boyfriend that I don't need to sneak around just to see.. He's 14.. He is only 3 monthes older than me making him the youngest boy I have EVER dated in my life.. Makes me happy knowing neither of us are going to get in trouble for dating in general.. We've been dating for 1 month and 2 weeks and I am really having a good time... Waking up knowing he cares is wonderful... That's all for now...
<33
EAT ME! at 9:08 AM ;; 5 comments
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Hmmm...
Erica is going to give me a KY warming massage... Hmmm... Be jeaulos.. mmmm... warming sensationssss... lololololololol@yourface//...
EAT ME! at 4:52 PM ;; 0 comments
Scoober..
SCOOOOOBY DOOOOOOOOBIE DOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
So yeah what crakin homie........ Yooo. I hate you all... Kay bye...
go die.
EAT ME! at 4:39 PM ;;
2 comments
Friday, January 12, 2007
Sometimes..
Sometimes I look at myself as if i'm nothing... As if I am stranded inside myself with no where to run, and no hope to carry on. Many people don't know of how I really feel about myself. Most people just take my random up and downs as just a sign that I am in fact human. Maybe people should look deeper... There's more of me than just meets the eye. There's more of me that most of you will never know about.
Go about your life as if you never read this blog..
Just another rant..
<33
EAT ME! at 9:06 AM ;;
3 comments
Sunday, January 7, 2007
Damnit Necro..
i am thinking about changing my layout again... nothing seems to fit me i don't know. i think i will make my own this time... i don't really wanna, but i suppose i will anyways... i will see if Necro sent me flashGet yet... NECRO YOU SHOULD DO THAT SOON... lol... calling him necro is funny... lol... so imma not go to skoo tomorrow... not that anyone will miss me kbye :]
EAT ME! at 10:02 PM ;;
1 comments
Grrrrr....
I accidentaly deleted all my music of my flach drive.. I don't know if it is still saved on my computer, but I don't think it is so now... yeah... I am musicless.. I think imma cry.. No, well anyways I am going home today so I don't know if I will post for awile.
EAT ME! at 3:10 PM ;;
2 comments
Saturday, January 6, 2007
me and jack have an inside joke....
Me: i make bunny cry?
Jaaack: noo
Jaaack: right now bunny is jus plain sad, because hes a jackass
Me: well bunny's girlfriend says that bunny needs to not be sad
Jaaack: well bunny is getting happy now, now that his girlfriend doesnt seem to sad
Jaaack: tell robin that batman says hes reallly sorry
EAT ME! at 10:07 PM ;;
0 comments
In all sadness, look to friends<3
Erica: Klarc is an asswhole
EAT ME! at 9:49 PM ;; 1 comments
he's so right...
------------ (1/6/2011 8:04:35 PM): thats what part of our conversation was about,how he can ruin it for other people who ARE NOT going to do wht he did
EAT ME! at 8:37 PM ;; 0 comments
Friday, January 5, 2007
I miss my people... Sorry no post... Gotta go. Bye.
EAT ME! at 9:38 AM ;; 2 comments
Thursday, December 28, 2006
My top 25 favorite songs... and who i stole them from ;p.
25- Yellow; Coldplay (compliments to a bar ;p)
24- Girl at the Rock Show; Blink 182
23- She Likes Me for Me; Blink 182
22- Damnit; Blink 182 (compliments Jimmy)
21- This Time Imperfect; AFI (compliments Jimmy)
20- Lunacy Fringe; The Used
19- Iris; Goo Goo Dolls
18- Greatest Fan of Your Life; Goo Goo Dolls
17- A Lack of Color; Death Cab for Cutie
16- Soul Meets Body; Death Cab for Cutie
15- Brighter Than Sunshine; Aqualung (copliments to love<3)
14- On My Own; The Used
13- Collide; Howie Day (compliments to an old friend, Chelsey)
12- Love Like Winter; AFI (compliments Erica)
11- Saying Sorry; Hawthrone Heights
10- Your Body is a Wonderland; John Mayer (compliments Jimmy)
9- Blue and Yellow; The Used (compliments Erica)
8- Where is my Mind?; The Pixies (compliments to a good movie, and Chuck)
7- I Know, I Know, I Know; Tegan and Sara (compliments Jenna June)
6- Here in Your Arms; Hellogoodbye (compliments my Erica and Tequila)
5- Bobby and Bonnie; Houston Calls (compliments Jenna June)
4- I'm Melting; The Used
3- Almost; Bowling for Soup
2- Beauty in the Breakdown; The Scene Aesthetic (compliments Ashely)
1- Summer Skin; Death Cab for Cutie
-Gasp!!- Beauty in the Breakdown isn't my favorite song anymore... I just wanted to let you see what my life's playlist is, and you should download some songs... Well bye.
Ps: Erica, I know you are probably reading this and I do reolise there are no Panic! songs on here, and that's because everyone knows Panic songs are the shit so why put them up?
EAT ME! at 2:20 AM ;; 4 comments
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Wow... I was reading my older blogs and reolised I can't spell worth shit ;p. So I went and fixed it so I didn't sound like a redneck retard... I need to tell youseguys something (yes youseguys ;p)...
I have a cousin... Her name is liz... This is not fake I swear to god... When she was 12 her mother died... I was a heart attack... When she was 18 her grandma died... Then her grandpa... The her dad.. Her dad was my uncle george.. Her other grandma is in the hospital.. Now her only family left is us pretty much... We love her to death and I just have to tell you death is a miserable thing.....
EAT ME! at 2:29 PM ;; 4 comments
Monday, December 25, 2006
Well this is totally gay, damn blogger templates makes it so you can't use Haloscan comments... I have all the comments sent to me, but now I gotta use Blogger commenting so dont think your not loved if you don't see all comments... Feel free to post new ones... :D
EAT ME! at 10:09 PM ;; 0 comments
Well I got really tired of the damn layouts I use and how stupid people don't understand them (no offence)... Well I should tell you about my day...
1st Funny Thing- My family told my nana that I like black... She said: "You know what they say, people who wear black are into whitch craft."
2nd Funny Thing- My family bought me black makeup and gross stuff like that. I wasn't being rude, but I said "I don't wear makeup, it's gross"... They lookes at me like I was crazy.
3rd Funny Thing- I smoked in front of my Nana.. .She let me.
4th Funny Thing- I can't remember...
Well my Grandpa died yesturday =[.. .It hasn't sank in yet... as much as I know it happened, yet I still keep denying it... Welp I guess that's it.. Merry Christmas everyone... I love you, i do i do i do.
EAT ME! at 9:58 PM ;; 2 comments
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Friggin' god... I went to put K3ll@ on my side and my whole layout delted... Daaaaamn. So now I gotta start over... I am just going to blogskins.. feh~
On other notes I met my bestfriend lastnight :D
EAT ME! at 12:35 PM ;; 0 comments
Friday, December 22, 2006
John Mayer Your - Body Is A Wonderland
We got the afternoon
You got this room for two
One thing I've left to do
Discover me
Discovering you
One mile to every inch of
Your skin like porcelain
One pair of candy lips and
Your bubblegum tongue
'Cause if you want love
We'll make it
Swimming a deep sea
Of blankets
Take all your big plans
And break 'em
This is bound to be a while
Your body Is a wonderland
Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands)
Your body Is a wonderland
Something 'bout the way the hair falls in your face
I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillowcase
You tell me where to go and
Though I might leave to find it
I'll never let your head hit the bed
Without my hand behind it
you want love?
We'll make it
Swimming a deep sea
Of blankets
Take all your big plans
And break 'em
This is bound to be a while
Your body Is a wonderland
Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands)
Your body Is a wonderland
Damn baby
You frustrate me
I know you're mine all mine all mine
But you look so good it hurts sometimes
Your body Is a wonderland
Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands)
Your body Is a wonderland
Your body is a wonderland
EAT ME! at 5:58 PM ;; 0 comments
today is going good so far sept i miss erica, and i am so fucking tired... i didn't get anysleep...
BOWLING FOR SOUP LYRICS
"Almost"
I almost got drunk at school at 14
Where I almost made out with the homecoming queen
Who almost went on to be miss texas
But lost to a slut with much bigger breastes
I almost dropped out to move to LA
Where I was almost famous for almost a day
And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost loved you
I almost wished u would've loved me too
I almost held up a grocery store
Where I almost did 5 years and then 7 more
Cuz I almost got popped for a fight with a thug
Cuz he almost made off with a bunch of the drugs
That I almost got hooked on cuz you ran away
And I wish I woulda had the nerve to ask you to stay
And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost had you
And I didn't even know it
You kept me guessing and now I'm destined
to spend my time missing you
I almost wish you would've loved me too
Here I go thinking about all the things I could've done
I'm gonna need a forklift cuz all the baggage weighs a ton
I know we had our problems I can't remember one
I almost forgot to say something else
And if I cant fit it in I'll keep it all to myself
I almost wrote a song about you today
But I tore it all up and then I threw it away
And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost had you
And I didn't even know it
You kept me guessing and now I'm destined
to spend my time missing you
And I almost had you [x3]
I almost wish you would've loved me too
"Almost"
I almost got drunk at school at 14
Where I almost made out with the homecoming queen
Who almost went on to be miss texas
But lost to a slut with much bigger breastes
I almost dropped out to move to LA
Where I was almost famous for almost a day
And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost loved you
I almost wished u would've loved me too
I almost held up a grocery store
Where I almost did 5 years and then 7 more
Cuz I almost got popped for a fight with a thug
Cuz he almost made off with a bunch of the drugs
That I almost got hooked on cuz you ran away
And I wish I woulda had the nerve to ask you to stay
And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost had you
And I didn't even know it
You kept me guessing and now I'm destined
to spend my time missing you
I almost wish you would've loved me too
Here I go thinking about all the things I could've done
I'm gonna need a forklift cuz all the baggage weighs a ton
I know we had our problems I can't remember one
I almost forgot to say something else
And if I cant fit it in I'll keep it all to myself
I almost wrote a song about you today
But I tore it all up and then I threw it away
And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost had you
And I didn't even know it
You kept me guessing and now I'm destined
to spend my time missing you
And I almost had you [x3]
I almost wish you would've loved me too
EAT ME! at 7:41 AM ;; 0 comments
i can't stay awake... goodnight peeps.. intil today<33
EAT ME! at 4:20 AM ;; 0 comments
I was going to post one at exactly midnight... I didn't did I? I don't know what this thing is, but you might!
EAT ME! at 2:44 AM ;; 0 comments
Thursday, December 21, 2006
they took the tube out.... FUCKKKKK jsiopd8uqw4or90sd2 df7asuy8iow4kljn, i fucking hate this shit,,,,, ,i fucking ARRRG i fucking don't know what i am going to do this shit is building and building and i am going to fucking burst... i am going to fucking hurt me or someont else.. i am fucking terrified... you guys don't know what i am fuckign capible of.... fuck fuck fucjkl FCUCKVFF FUCK
5% IS STILL A FUCKING CHANCE. FUCK>.. someone call me please someone anyone i need to vent 6474355...........askldo7kasdjfoih 7avsn8yrv9awnn78 ]
EAT ME! at 7:09 PM ;; 0 comments
Me and Erica have a shared blog, if you want to join us feel free to ask me.. It would be, fun, and stuff......... My grandpa is pretty much dead ): Umm well he has a 5% chance of living and they may give him a "drop" and take the tubes out...
why can't it be me??
EAT ME! at 6:21 PM ;; 0 comments
Monday, December 18, 2006
i didn't go to skoo today... my grandfather had a heartattack friday so i was up at the hospital... he is non responsive, but he is breathing almost on his own.. he wont wake up and we don't know if he will make it... he is at one of the leading hospitals for heart attacks so i think we will be okay.. i hope anyways.. sigh.
charles cole sucks.
EAT ME! at 11:10 AM ;; 0 comments
Friday, December 15, 2006
nate is my new idol... the side doesn't lie.
EAT ME! at 10:43 PM ;; 0 comments
My rents are really getting tired of catching me smoking so finally i just said buy me cigarettes or help me break the habit... now i have about 3 boxes of nicatine gum... it taste like dog shit, but at least i wont smell like a fucking ash tray... this is not an attempt to quit... this is my last stand.. i will honestly try my hardest to break this habit... -sigh- i need support.
EAT ME! at 9:53 PM ;; 0 comments
Thursday, December 14, 2006
i stapled my finger.. it was deep. im bleeding now. bye.
EAT ME! at 10:54 AM ;; 1 comments
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
feh~ cheer up jimmy.
EAT ME! at 9:10 AM ;; 0 comments
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
you might not find this funny, but i did... it looks bad [i know] it makes it funnier:
click to see it full lmao.
i used an ugly picture for my head, but library is boring so i thought it would be fun. kthxbye.
EAT ME! at 9:36 AM ;;
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Monday, December 11, 2006
Why do i feel so depressed? I just can't seem to get it... I have a wonderful boyfriend, a good life, but damnit something is missing. i only wish i knew what.. someone help me....
EAT ME! at 6:42 PM ;;
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Sunday, December 10, 2006
i usually don't post lyrics... today is kindof depressing day.
Eve 6 Here's To The Night
So denied so I lied
Are you the now or never kind?
In a day and a day love
I'm going to be gone for good again
Are you willing to be had? Are you cool with just tonight?
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all to well.
Here's to the night we felt alive.
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry.
Here's to goodbye tomorrow's going to come to soon.
Put your name on the line
Along with place and time
Want to stay, not to go, I want to ditch the logical.
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all to well.
Here's to the night we felt alive.
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry.
Here's to goodbye tomorrow's going to come to soon.
All my time is froze in motion
Can't I stay an hour or two or more
Don't let me let you go
Don't let me let you go
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all to well.
Here's to the night we felt alive.
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry.
Here's to goodbye, tomorrow's going to come to soon.
To soon
Here's to the night we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye tomorrow's going to come to soon
EAT ME! at 7:30 PM ;;
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my parent's really piss me off sometimes.. well hey what goes around comes around right? i am so fucking sick. i wanna vomit... grr.. i don't know... just felt like posting something...
ps: i am getting so much better on the guitar!
EAT ME! at 6:26 PM ;;
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Saturday, December 9, 2006
Sooo does anyone like the new layout??? I got comments to work yaccs was being retarded so i use haloscan or something like that now... oh baby! gonna go now.
<33
EAT ME! at 1:52 PM ;;
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i don't know... comment are down. i had a good time at the movies lastnight allthough i sat in the cold for a hour and now i'm sick =P.
<33penguin
EAT ME! at 8:38 AM ;;
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Thursday, December 7, 2006
detention sucks alot. i miss jack and i can't call him until later. my mom is in the hospital. i gotta go see her today. ummm what else? i don't know. been a wonderful day though. waking up to see jack every morning has gave me.. well.. pretty much a reason to live..... i think i love him.... yeah i know what you're thinking... rushing into love nooo. absolutely not. our relationship is good. no evil things...... yeah. kay bye.
<33 my penguin
EAT ME! at 3:32 PM ;;
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Tuesday, December 5, 2006
HI &JAAACK;
i heart you<3
kay i am tired people making fun of myfriends... let's just say i am almost suspended.
EAT ME! at 6:57 PM ;;
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Monday, December 4, 2006
Oh Baby<33
I'm in beta... yay... well I got a fortune cookie kay it said: things do not happen overnight it takes time and hardwork(in bed)... i found it amusing. Oh baby. Well I am no longer single. I am not letting the past get to me anymore... drives me crazy... I am moving on and fufilling my destiny, whatever that is..
I heart you♥
EAT ME! at 10:50 AM ;;
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Friday, December 1, 2006
I found a penguin. His name is jack. He's really cool. I think he has a crush on me. Neat. Anyways today is the first day of december. RAWR! I could only imagine.... oh baby. gotta go bye.
EAT ME! at 10:40 AM ;;
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Thursday, November 30, 2006
I think my dreams are trying to tell me something, and it's quite scary. "It's all your fault, your ruined his life" that sentance has been bubbling in my mind sence I woke up at 3:00 in the morning screaming his name and crying as hard as I ever have. I really wish I knew what happened. All I remember is the girl with long hair. I am falling apart. It's creepy. feh~ I don't know what to do anymore...
EAT ME! at 10:31 AM ;;
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Monday, November 27, 2006
SEE MY NEW VIDSSSS!!!!
clicketh.. .they are really funny. comments are up now!! kay bye!click any link... all go to same place.
Dropshots
Dropshots
Dropshots
Dropshots
Dropshots
Dropshots
Dropshots
Dropshots
Dropshots
Dropshots
Dropshots
Dropshots
EAT ME! at 12:07 PM ;;
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I finally updated my photobucket a little... I am going to make a dropshots so you can see all the fun video's we made... I will post those soon. I really want to put up comments, but I am so lazy. RAWR! Kay I will do comments today before I go home.
R.A.P: I miss you terribly... I call this a tradgetiy.
I still love you with all that's left of me.
I am so glad you live close to me again.
I love you Ryan. I do, I do, I do.
<333
EAT ME! at 11:05 AM ;;
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Saturday, November 25, 2006
A picture is a glitch in time<33;
Well all in all a good day. We took Shannon to roll down the big hill with us ;p. It was so fun. Well i shall go see yah at youth!!!
Ps: Comments will be up soon :D.
EAT ME! at 6:11 PM ;;
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I Caught Fire - The Used<3
I usually don't post lyrics:
Seemed to stop my breath
my head on your chest
waiting to cave in from
the bottom of my...
hear your voice again could we dim the sun
and wonder where we've been maybe you
and me
so kiss me like you did my heart stopped
beating such a softer sin
(I'm melting, i'm melting)
in your eyes i lost my place
could stay a while and i'm melting
in your eyes like my first time
that i caught fire just stay with me
lay with me now
never caught my breath
every second im without you
I'm a mess ever know each other
trust these words are stones
why cuts aren't healing
learning how to love, I'm melting
in your eyes i lost my place
could stay a while and i'm melting
in your eyes like my first time
that i caught fire just stay with me
lay with me stay with me lay with me now
you can stay and watch me fall
and of course i'll ask for help
just stay with me now
we could take our hands off
stay in bed just make love thats all
just stay with me now
I'm melting, I'm melting
in your eyes i lost my place
could stay a while and i'm melting
in your eyes like my first time
that i caught fire just stay with me
lay with me
in your eyes i lost my place
could stay a while and i'm melting
in your eyes like my first time
that i caught fire just stay with me
lay with me stay with me lay with me now
in your eyes lets sleep til the sun burns out
i'm melting in your eyes (x2)
my head on your chest
waiting to cave in from
the bottom of my...
hear your voice again could we dim the sun
and wonder where we've been maybe you
and me
so kiss me like you did my heart stopped
beating such a softer sin
(I'm melting, i'm melting)
in your eyes i lost my place
could stay a while and i'm melting
in your eyes like my first time
that i caught fire just stay with me
lay with me now
never caught my breath
every second im without you
I'm a mess ever know each other
trust these words are stones
why cuts aren't healing
learning how to love, I'm melting
in your eyes i lost my place
could stay a while and i'm melting
in your eyes like my first time
that i caught fire just stay with me
lay with me stay with me lay with me now
you can stay and watch me fall
and of course i'll ask for help
just stay with me now
we could take our hands off
stay in bed just make love thats all
just stay with me now
I'm melting, I'm melting
in your eyes i lost my place
could stay a while and i'm melting
in your eyes like my first time
that i caught fire just stay with me
lay with me
in your eyes i lost my place
could stay a while and i'm melting
in your eyes like my first time
that i caught fire just stay with me
lay with me stay with me lay with me now
in your eyes lets sleep til the sun burns out
i'm melting in your eyes (x2)
EAT ME! at 11:21 AM ;; 0 comments
Friday, November 24, 2006
OMGEEEE!
Rolling down hills with retards is fun. So yeah. We [[Me, Erica, Tequila, and Dylan]] where hanging out with dan [[<3]] and Dylan saw this HUGE hill. So us being... well us... decided to 'roll' down it. Wet grass is cold. It was so much fun though. I don't have a pic of the hill, but trust me it was BIG. So yeah. Bye.
Ps: You just don't know<33
Pss: Jimmy makes me upset sometimes: (.
EAT ME! at 4:57 PM ;; 0 comments
Okie.
Yeah so today is a good day. Hanging out with the people who matter the most. I am [still] groudified. I will be for awile... But the point is I am in Roulette and having a good time. Sept I steeped in tequila's puke O_O. So yeah I am going to go now.
EAT ME! at 12:44 PM ;; 0 comments
Friday, November 10, 2006
Rain falls, and dumb people slip.
Mood= fuck you.
thought you should know... well I don't feel like spilling my heart to no one, so... here are my latest song obsessions.
Pixies - Where Is My Mind?
LyricsOoh, stop.
With your feet on the air and your head on the ground,
Try this trick and spin it, (yeah) yeah,
Your head will collapse but there’s nothing in it,
And you’ll ask yourself:
“Where is my mind?” x3
Way out in the water,
See it swimming?
I was swimming in the Caribbean,
Animals were hiding behind the rocks,
Except the little fish,
But they told me this is where it’s gonna talk to me honeybunny:
“Where is my mind?” x3
Way out in the water,
See it swimming?
With your feet on the air and your head on the ground,
Try this trick and spin it, yeah,
Your head will collapse but there’s nothing in it,
And you’ll ask yourself:
“Where is my mind?”
Way out in the water,See it swimming?
The Used - On My Own Lyrics
see all those people on the groundwasting time
see all those people on the groundwasting time
i try to hold it all insidebut just for tonight
the top of the worldsitting here wishing
the things I've become
that something is missing
maybe I...
but what do I know
and now it seems that i have found
and now it seems that i have found
nothing at all
I want to hear your voice out loud
slow it downslow it down
without it all
I'm choking on nothing
it's clear in my head
and I'm screaming for something
knowing nothing is better than knowing at all
On My Own
On My Own
EAT ME! at 9:43 PM ;; 0 comments
Wednesday, November 8, 2006
I AM... DANNI!
RAWR FEAR ME. Long while no post. Rar. How cool. Neways life is okay. Thinkning. I love this. Sike. This=you.
You=Him.
Him=I<3.
I<3=Perfection.
Perfection=you.
Get it? got it? good.
EAT ME! at 10:11 PM ;; 0 comments
Saturday, November 4, 2006
Teenage Sanity<3
Long time no post eh? Yeh well i've been busy... More or less grounded. Lmao. Anyways I am starting to be friends with Circe and Nicole, and they aren't as bad as everyone says they are. They are actually really cool, and I have alot in common with them. Just because they dress differant then me doesn't mean anything. Hmmm, I am quite content at this moment. No, I don't have a new boyfriend. I don't need one right now. I will wait for someone to sweep me off my feet [lmao I wish]. So yeah well I shall go know. The whole nine yards is on and I wanna watch it. Love to allllll.<33
Download: Modern Swinger by Pink Spiders.
EAT ME! at 11:34 PM ;; 0 comments
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Post?
Hmm this may be my last post for awhile... If you are having trouble with the layout I will like change it for you and stuff. Not alot of people come here anyways so I wont worry about it. Hmm well as I already said this might be my last post for ahwile I don't know though. I still can't belive what happened the other day. I love him, truely and deeply. Feh~ if only. Other notes I installed a new layout isn't it spiff3h!? I am such a nerd roflmao. I am watching Rose Red and it's uber creepy. Well I am thirsty so imma gonna go.
EAT ME! at 6:58 PM ;; 0 comments
Saturday, October 28, 2006
RAWRRR!
So yeah. I am in alot of shit... Well umm I supposedly didn't talk to my mom about something or something... So on other notes I am not moving. I love these people that I say I hate I just do. So well I just wanted to say my heart has never beat as fest as it did last night. Orgy of emotions and oh how fun it is. Don't ask. You wouldn't understand... Kthxbye.
EAT ME! at 8:17 PM ;; 1 comments
Friday, October 27, 2006
Yooo...
I am chillin at Kendra's and I am going to go to the game i guess. I don't want to, but I will anyways... So yeah the lock in is going to be fun, but I am going to be grounded after... Detention... So yeah.. Kthxbye.
EAT ME! at 6:02 PM ;; 0 comments
School Is Fun!!
Yeah so I am sitting in school. How fun. I can't wait until it's over cause I am gonna hang with Rhonda... Today is her birthday so HAPPY BIRTHDAY RHONDA! It's going to be great cause this well be the first time we have hung out in like forever... So then I am going to the lock in at church so that should be fun. They are prolly going to try to make me get saved. Well i'm NOT okey so get over it. Well I will end this with he's wonderful... kthxbye.
EAT ME! at 11:09 AM ;; 0 comments
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Perfection
He is just perfection.
So yo... Whatttsup? Yeah I finnally got my blog up and running. I didn't delete my freewebs blog, 'cause there's stuff on there and stuff. So wow today was an okay day. I am really mad at Tyler though. Don't ask... I just am and stuff. So blah.. Well my grades are bobbing. It's really gay. I need to buy a camera damnit. Well I suppose I will go know cause I have nothing to blog about. I have jerky :D, kthxbye.
EAT ME! at 7:54 PM ;; 0 comments
Finnally..
I finnally got a new blog damnit. Freewebs server is fucking slow so i decided it would be better to just like host it here and stuff... So rawr.
EAT ME! at 4:04 PM ;; 0 comments